My Smoking Habit

Recently, I read a book by Nic Sheff titled "Tweak". Nic wrote a very raw account of his battle with meth and heroine addiction. I had read his father's book, "Beautiful Boy" which lead me to want to read Nic's.

It was interesting to realize that smoking follows the same addictive patterns of drug addiction. Granted, I don't steal from my family or others to support my habit. But, the parallels are uncanny...In my heart, I want to quit - just like a drug addict. I know that it's bad for my body - just like a drug addict. I have attempted on my occasions to quit - just like a drug addict. But, I just can't quit - just like a drug addict! And, just like drug addiction, I have to hit my nicotine "bottom" before I will truly quit.

I guess I write this because I want those who love me and those who have pleaded with me to quit that I WANT TO. I seriously do! But, I also want you all to know that after smoking cigarettes for about 20 years, it's F-ING HARD!!! I have tried the patch, the gum, pills, snacking on every vegetable I can tolerate, cold turkey.. you name it, I have just about tried it.

So now I am seriously considering hyposis or acupunture. I am just concerned that if I don't just decide to stop smoking then nothing will work. I don't know what to do or say. I am not proud of being a smoker. I do want to quit. My smoking habit - Someday I WILL conquer it.