Still Working On It

Still working on getting preg-ola... in the meantime, aren't these the sweetest??

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32795587/ns/today-parenting_and_family/displaymode/1247/?beginSlide=1

My Smoking Habit

Recently, I read a book by Nic Sheff titled "Tweak". Nic wrote a very raw account of his battle with meth and heroine addiction. I had read his father's book, "Beautiful Boy" which lead me to want to read Nic's.

It was interesting to realize that smoking follows the same addictive patterns of drug addiction. Granted, I don't steal from my family or others to support my habit. But, the parallels are uncanny...In my heart, I want to quit - just like a drug addict. I know that it's bad for my body - just like a drug addict. I have attempted on my occasions to quit - just like a drug addict. But, I just can't quit - just like a drug addict! And, just like drug addiction, I have to hit my nicotine "bottom" before I will truly quit.

I guess I write this because I want those who love me and those who have pleaded with me to quit that I WANT TO. I seriously do! But, I also want you all to know that after smoking cigarettes for about 20 years, it's F-ING HARD!!! I have tried the patch, the gum, pills, snacking on every vegetable I can tolerate, cold turkey.. you name it, I have just about tried it.

So now I am seriously considering hyposis or acupunture. I am just concerned that if I don't just decide to stop smoking then nothing will work. I don't know what to do or say. I am not proud of being a smoker. I do want to quit. My smoking habit - Someday I WILL conquer it.

Artistic Bellies

I want to do this! >>>>>Painted Pregnancy Bellies

LOL - I will end up looking like the first girl getting painted.

Oh and I meant to post the link yesterday to the birthing center that I like:

Nativiti

Girl Appointment - Follow Up

My "girl appointment" had no major highlights. It was basically a typical well woman type appointment only more comfortable and not so rushed. Instead of seeing my to-be midwife, I was seen by her intern. Very sweet young lady. So cute with her tight curly hair!


She and I talked for about 30mins about various pregnancy stuff and then she did the exam. She did tell me that she couldn't find my right ovary but no big deal. Since, I am still menstruating on a regular basis then I probably ovulate primarily from my left ovary. Of course, she tried to get me to commit to a stop smoking date and method to stop but.. sigh...I'll get there. Lastly, she mentioned that my weight could play a factor in my chances of conceiving. She encouraged me to focus on my eating habits right now instead of the actual conception of our cute litte baby boy (wink, wink). Ugh! This getting pregnant stuff is hard!

Speaking of eating, Kelley and I eat a good 'ol very fattening southern breakfast each weekend.. bacon, eggs, toast...When I'm cooking, this is what I typically see...
That's my stove on the right. And they are just certain that I have a package of bacon reserved for them.



And, how cute are these faces? Look at that handsome "kid" in the middle!

Girl Appointment

Tomorrow, I have my "girl appointment" at the birthing center. I have never..let me repeat NEVER.. been excited about the womanly annual exam before. But, this time, I am actually having my appointment with my midwife... EEEKKK... yes! My midwife! And, I am incredibly excited! I feel like it's the beginning of a beautiful journey.

I do admit that I have a little devil on my shoulder who keeps telling me that I might not get pregnant. But, I have an even bigger feeling in my soul that tells me I will and it will be beautiful.

I can't explain how incredible it is to actually be able to blog about this. I have truly wanted another child for many years. I never wanted my son to grow up as an only child. But, I just never had the right partner in my life. I didn't want any more children from his father because I just knew we weren't going to make it for the long haul. And...well.. I'll spare you the rest of my crazy man journey. But, now, I have THAT man in my life. The one that I want to pro-create with..the one who I know will be an incredible father. I am so thankful to have this opportunity, again.

I daydream about our baby. I daydream about raising our child. Emotions fill my soul and I pray.. Oh Lord how I pray that God will truly grant me this gift!

The Cat's Out of the Bag

Or, someday soon, the bun will be in the oven???

At 42, my husband of 34 and I have decided to have a BABY!!! I am so excited and pretty darn obsessed about the whole idea. We have finally told almost everyone in the family and no longer have to keep it under the table. No..I'm not pregnant yet but hope to be any month now. If we could just get this whole ovulation thing down.

Anyway, just wanted to shout to the world..... WE ARE TRYING! WE ARE TRYING! Can't wait for the post to annouce the conception.

Shorty Got Low, Low, Low....

I was just telling my mom the other day that I think we aren't or weren't really in a recession. I honestly think the media has created this so-called "Recession". I didn't really feel impacted by it until recently. Kelley and I have more credit cards than we need. Several have balances and all were no where near the credit limits.

Over the last 4 months, every single one of our credit card companies has lowered our credit limit to just above our balance amount!!! This really ticks me off! Not because I want to have a bunch of credit cards with high limits but because it completely messes with my credit score and then causes us to be at a higher risk of going over our limit. Seriously, one company lowered are limit so close to our balance that it will only take one finance charge to tip the scale...then they have the right to increase our interest rate. Such a market these companies have!!!!

I say DOWN WITH CREDIT CARDS!!!!! Can't wait to finish paying these suckers off!

A Pocket Full-O Change

My niece, Kayla, gave me this bank a couple of years ago. Or, she may have given it to Mema and then Mema passed it on to me..who knows? Anyway, I have the bank.

I had saved some change in it and then dumped it for some unknown event or occasion. Last year, Kelley and I began putting our pocket change in it. Our intention was to fill it to the rim, see how much we had, and then decide what to do with the money.

We recently decided to take advantage of a trip to China next March that my company is offering at a discount. Well, on my bus ride home yesterday, I had this bright idea. Instead of letting the change sit in the bottle earning no interest, why not put the money in savings and let it at least earn a few dollars in interest. I know, I know.. with today's interest rates, we're really not missing much. Either way, I was interested to see how much we had saved.

As soon as I got home, I promptly dumped the bottle to retrieve the dollar bills that had accrued. (Yep.. we threw in a few dollar bills here and there.) I was so excited to see that we had saved $39.00 in bills. Wow! That's $3 a month! So, then, Kelley and I head off to the nearest Kroger to find one of those coin machine thingies.

I am excited to announce that we actually had $225 in coins in the bottle!!! And it wasn't even half full!!! We are so excited that we have made an even bigger committment to save our change. Who knows? Maybe next year we'll double our money.

Now That's Embarrassing...

I am walking from lunch to my building today. I stop at a crosswalk.. wait for the signal and see someone that I worked with at my previous employer. She say, "Hi. How are you?" I say, "Great! How are you?" Fine.. fine.. Then, I say, "Are you having a baby?"

She says, "No." and smiles.....

TOTAL EMBARRASSMENT!!!!

:-[

Her!

I just love her so much! I don't know what I would do or ever would have done without her.

MOM

Fatherless Father's Days

Last night, I took my step-daughter shopping so that she could buy her dad a Father's Day gift. I was standing off to the side while she sifted through the cards. As I stood there, I was looking at the FD cards and began thinking thoughts that haven't crossed my mind in a very long time.

• I wonder what it feels like to have a father?
• How do you feel toward a father?
• Do you feel the same feelings that you do for your mother?
• I wonder what it feels like to call someone "Daddy"

The man who undeservedly received the title of being my "father" passed away a few months ago. While this may sound cruel, it was a non-event for me. My father has never been in my life. So, during a time when many women/girls would be devastated, sad, maybe even lost, I continued with my normal routine and gave his passing a moments worth of thought.

There was a time in my life when I longed to have a man to call daddy. I longed for that male figure who would care about my well-being, teach me how to act in front of men, take me on daddy/daughter dates but those longings are "long" past. I don't dwell on them any more. I guess I finally just accepted what was fact, reality, fate. However, this does not stop me from being passionate about the fact that every child deserves a father. I still have sadness for all of the fatherless children in the world. A mother and a father play 2 very important roles in a child's life. God created balance. He gave women and men different characteristics for a reason. For a girl, a father provides strength, protection and his role is to teach her how to respect herself and how to interact with the opposite sex. For a boy, a father still provides strength and protection but he is also the teacher, the role model, showing the boy how to become a man.

It's been a dream of mine for quite some time to do a documentary on fathers & fatherhood. I have this fantasy that teaching men the importance of their role in their child's life will somehow fill that fatherless void in my heart. Realistically speaking, I just thinks it's time. It's time for awareness. It's time for men to understand. It's time for our children to have their fathers. Our country would be in better shape for it.

I hear about our President taking time out of his incredibly intense schedule to attend his children's school functions, take them for ice cream, play a game... This is the type of role modeling and example that we need in America. I am thankful for this President!

With this said, I do wish all of the men in this country who participate in their children's life a very Happy Father's Day! To those that don't.... isn't it about time??

What a scare!

I have run the gammet of emotions today. My thoughts have run from "he's just fishing" to "the absolute worst". Why? - you ask.

For a few hours today, I thought my son was missing. His girlfriend sent me a text at about 4pm saying that she was worried because he had left to go diving at 11am this morning and she couldn't get in touch with him. At first, I just figured he was fishing and didn't want to answer his phone or wasn't getting a signal. But, after speaking with her and listening to her entire story, I began to worry. My common sense told me not to worry but instincts told me that something was wrong. He went diving by himself (which you aren't supposed to do). His phone was going straight to voicemail. He had been gone for almost 6 hours. He hadn't eaten before he left. And if you know my son, he can't go too long without eating. But, what could we do???

I told Jaymi to call the coast guard or water police and see if they could do anything. She did and they were very helpful. She didn't know what kind of boat he has but with Kelley's help, we managed to get the registration number on the side of the boat. And off the coast guard went to look for him. From that point, it was about an hour and a half or two hours of worrying.

The coast guard finally called Jaymi only to tell her that he was OK but he was being towed back to land because his boat had taken on water. Turns out that while he was diving, a very large boat passed by and caused his boat to capsize. THANK GOD HE WASN'T IN IT! His boat is ruined but he is FINE! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Critically Ill Wisdom

Are you tired of looking at the penis pics? I make jokes but I have a serious topic today.

The other night, I was catching up on my recorded Oprah shows. I was sad to see that Dr. Oz is leaving Oprah to do his own show. I enjoyed them two together. While watching this episode:

Best of Dr. Oz

I was touched by the story about the man who wrote "The Last Lecture." I haven't read the book yet. But, based on his incredible story, I plan to soon. Watching him made me think... why is that people gain so much wisdom about life at a time when they are facing death? Why is that when time is most precious to us, do we understand what's important? His message is not completely new. Many people have gone through a similar situation and imparted their wisdom unto others. But, many of us still don't get it. Or, we get it but can't seem to live it.

This could easily transition into a discussion about the Bible and it's true meaning. However, I shall stay away from that topic for now. Bottom line: We are all meant to love one another. If we could all "get it", this life would be so much easier.

I Needed This

Went to a Passion Party at one of my girlfriend's house today. Had a great time! Needed some good 'ol girl bonding.

There was Wine, Food, and Penis' -- LOL - in that order.... Fun, fun!!!

To My Mom

Mother of the Year < Click here

Need I say more??

I love you!!!!!! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY WEEKEND!

Guest Blogger - My Husband

Yesterday, I arrived home to find my handsome husband on the back porch "sans" his wife beater and shorts, iPod buds in his ears. He says, "Come here and take my picture." You have to know my husband. He doesn't like having his picture taken much less in his wife beater.

So, in his own words, here's the reason for the picture.

"Babe, I want you to have a before picture of me. And, I'll take another one in 4 - 6 months after getting into my workout routine. I want to give you the best of me. The person that I was ten years ago."

And, that's it folks! I want to thank my guest blogger - Kelley.

Fido Fashions

Thanks, Mema!!! We love our new fashions!

God's Surprise!

You know, life can be so predictable for so long and then all of a sudden God will throw you a curve ball or better yet, a BIG surprise!

One of my high school Facebook friends sent me an email this week and it went something like this, "Hey! Lara Curlin is my friend on Facebook. Check it out!" Well, I'll be damn! Lara Curlin was my best friend in high school. We were inseparable until she moved away. Then, we lived together for a couple of years after high school. We lost contact about 21 years ago. Our paths have crossed a couple of times over the past 20 years but we weren't good at keeping in touch. Life just kind of took us in different directions.

But now, here she is:
We had a great walk and talk on the beach.

And laughed for hours!!!!!

I am so glad to have her back in my life.

Welcome to Lake Spring, TX

We have had horrendous rain coming down today. It's been crazy!!! Almost feels like IKE all over again. Check out the new lake in my front yard:

It's Our Anniversary

Happy 1st Year Anniversary, Kelley! I love you!

Plantee, Plantee, Plant - A Pictorial

Last year, I planted some adorable flowers in our corner bed and back bed. I enjoyed those flowers for over 5 months. I enjoyed sitting outside and marveling at the work that I had done as well as the beautiful colors that sprang from the gardens. It was time to plant again!


Tada!!! Here are the plants that I picked out: Mom, do you see the Knockout Rose bush on the right? ;-)

And, look!! I even bought some vegetable plants. Green Bell Peppers!

Strawberries!!! (Well, those aren't vegetables.)

And, tomatoes!!!!

The dogs helped.

And, they're planted! This picture doesn't do them justice.

Yep! I added the ladybugs, too, Lacy!

If Only....

Toward the end of last year, Kelley and I embarked upon a new debt reduction plan. I use the word "embark" because I think reducing your debt is truly a journey. It tests your strength, patience, willpower, and sanity. We have successfully paid off one card and are about 1 or 2 months away from paying off another.

Sticking to the plan requires teamwork and many discussions (sometimes heated ones). It requires sacrificing small & large, not being able to do some things on a whim, and staying focused on the end result.

With this said, Lacy, if only I could go on that fabulous craft weekend with you! If only, I could just pick up and travel to Florida to see my son when I want. If only I could tell any one of my family members, "Hey! Let's meet in fun place USA this weekend." I want so badly to spend a giggly, crafty weekend with you, Lacy. I want to learn how to make things that I may never make again but sure did enjoy doing it with you! I want to spend some one-on-one time with you talking about our deepest fears and dreams. But alas, my focus has to remain on the end prize.

The end prize will give me the freedom to do such things. The end prize will give me the freedom to invite you on a trip and pay for the whole thing. The end prize will give me the freedom to say I am getting it because I can.

So, thank you so much for inviting me, Lacy!!! I know you are excited and will have a great time. Once I get to the end prize, it's ON, babycakes!

2 Beers & a Mayonnaise Jar

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed.. 'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full..

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else---the small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children.
Spend time with your parents.
Visit with grandparents (or aunts). :-)
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your spouse out to dinner.
Get a manicure or pedicure or both.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented.The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked. The beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers.'

Flipswap

How many old cell phones do you have stored away in a closet? If you are like me, quite a few. I am a sucker for new technology. So, as soon as a new phone becomes available that has cool gadgets and features, I am thinking of how I can con my cell phone provider into letting me upgrade at the lowest price.

But what do you do with all of those old phones?? Fear not, my friend. I am sure you have all heard of places where you can turn them in to be recycled. Well, Flipswap gives you options. You can get cash, donate the cash, or have a tree planted. I like this idea. I will soon be bidding farewell to my old phones. Try it!

My Tax Deduction on Tax Day

Twenty-one years ago today, God blessed me with the best tax deduction that I have ever had. Derrick Salim was born around 6 in the evening. He has truly made my life an enjoyable experience. From his silly grins, his hungry grouchies, his excitement over a new hobby, watching him play hockey and much more, he showed me a new meaning to life.

I am a bit weepy today. Words can't describe how I feel. I can't believe my son is an adult! I am so proud of the person that he is and excited to watch what he will become.

Son, I love you with ALL of my heart. I hope you have a great 21st Birthday.

From My View

Here's the view from the window near my desk. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), I don't sit next to this window. Otherwise, I might just stare at the city below all day long. (Those windows sure are dirty, huh?)

Désordre de Table

My disorderly table! Is it just me? Or, does everyone has a place, table, desk, etc. in their home that is the catch-all when you walk in the door? Well, here's mine:
I know it didn't need explaining. But, I am always amazed at the random stuff that it collects. (You do recognize that I'm not taking ownership in the collection? The stuff just seems to gather here on it's own.)

Direct to You

Ever since I was ohhhh probably old enough to talk, I have been told that I am very direct. Being direct pretty much means that I don't beat around the bush and say what I mean. At least, I'd like to think so.

At my last employer, I can't tell you how many times I was given feedback about my directness. "You might want to soften up your message, Mary." "Maybe think through what you want to say..." "Sometimes the way you say things can really hurt people's feelings..." AAAGGGHHH!!!

My question is this... Why do I have to change in order to make the "fluffy" people happy? Why can't they be more direct? Why is it OK for me to sit through a 30 minute dissertation on a topic that could have taken 5 minutes? As opposed to the dissertatee (Is that a word? It is now) getting to the point and not wasting my time.

Case in point.. a "fluffy" person might say, "I really like how you have arranged this spreadsheet. I can tell that you spent some time on it. The colors seem to really bring out the data and expose the information that is needed. You might want to adjust the columns and wrap the text in larger fields."

Me? "Looks good. Just make the columns wider and set the text up to wrap." Hello??? Now didn't we just save a few breaths and get the same point across?

Just think about how many meetings could be shortened if we all were a little more to the point.. damn.. we could probably shorten the work week. What about Congress? Don't you think they could spend alot fewer hours discussing our nation's recession issue if everyone just got to the point? They could actually be putting the plan into action and save thousands of jobs.

I say all direct people should UNITE!!! We could form a union and teach the non-directs how to be more efficient. Direct to You (D2Y)...say it and move on!

LOL - I think I've said enough

Easter's On It's Way

Easter is on it's way! Sending a few funnies to brighten your day!

Can You Not See It???

Hello? Have you not noticed the new look of my blog??? Isn't it fabulous?

THANK YOU, LACY!!! I love the new look.

Such the Art Connoisseurs

Kelley and I attended another art festival this weekend. I do believe that we are becoming quite the "connoisseurs". (wink, wink)

Here are a few of our favorites:

Amanda Chakravarty

Yoshi Aoki

Kathy Womack

Recession Goes to the Birds

I guess even the birds are feeling the recession. As soon as the dogs come in the house, they all flock to their food bowls and feast. (The pictures are blurry because of all of the doggie noses on the glass window.)

Happy, Happy, Happy

This little cutie is so adorable and loveable. She LOVES her mommy! When I go upstairs, no matter how long I up there, I always see this when I come down.

If you can just imagine that fuzzy little tail wagging, wagging, wagging... this little girl is always happy to see me.

Think I could teach Kelley to act that way everytime I walk in the room???

(BTW - She's not fat.. she's FLUFFY.)

Who's Your Idol???

In past seasons of American Idol, I have watched sporadically. I just was never really excited about the contestants. I think my favorite so far has been Reuben and that's only because I thought he was so lovable. But this year??? OMG!!! I am hooked. This is a hard season! So much talent!

I really like Allison. Her voice is so different. And, the fact that she is only 16?? Wow! She definitely has an exciting career ahead of her.

Danny was my absolute fave during the auditions. As soon as I saw him, I just knew that he was going to win. Such a soulful sound coming from that white boy! But......

....Adam has been killing it!!! I think he's the winner. He has the looks, the moves, and the voice. I haven't agreed with his song choices but he always seems to sing them in the most inventive and moving ways. And does this guy look like Elvis or what?????
Who's your idol???

Artfully Inspired

The art festival was marvelous! I found this whimsical painting and just had to have it. I love how these ladies are having so much fun. Of course, this photo doesn't do it justice. It has found a new home in my guest bedroom.
It also inspired me to finally hang these. (Thank you, Lacy!)

And these... (Thank you, again, Lacy!)

Guess who I bought this for? Yep and he will love it!

And these cuties are for Mema!

The festival had such beautiful and creative items. I can't wait to go again in October!