My Smoking Habit

Recently, I read a book by Nic Sheff titled "Tweak". Nic wrote a very raw account of his battle with meth and heroine addiction. I had read his father's book, "Beautiful Boy" which lead me to want to read Nic's.

It was interesting to realize that smoking follows the same addictive patterns of drug addiction. Granted, I don't steal from my family or others to support my habit. But, the parallels are uncanny...In my heart, I want to quit - just like a drug addict. I know that it's bad for my body - just like a drug addict. I have attempted on my occasions to quit - just like a drug addict. But, I just can't quit - just like a drug addict! And, just like drug addiction, I have to hit my nicotine "bottom" before I will truly quit.

I guess I write this because I want those who love me and those who have pleaded with me to quit that I WANT TO. I seriously do! But, I also want you all to know that after smoking cigarettes for about 20 years, it's F-ING HARD!!! I have tried the patch, the gum, pills, snacking on every vegetable I can tolerate, cold turkey.. you name it, I have just about tried it.

So now I am seriously considering hyposis or acupunture. I am just concerned that if I don't just decide to stop smoking then nothing will work. I don't know what to do or say. I am not proud of being a smoker. I do want to quit. My smoking habit - Someday I WILL conquer it.

Artistic Bellies

I want to do this! >>>>>Painted Pregnancy Bellies

LOL - I will end up looking like the first girl getting painted.

Oh and I meant to post the link yesterday to the birthing center that I like:

Nativiti

Girl Appointment - Follow Up

My "girl appointment" had no major highlights. It was basically a typical well woman type appointment only more comfortable and not so rushed. Instead of seeing my to-be midwife, I was seen by her intern. Very sweet young lady. So cute with her tight curly hair!


She and I talked for about 30mins about various pregnancy stuff and then she did the exam. She did tell me that she couldn't find my right ovary but no big deal. Since, I am still menstruating on a regular basis then I probably ovulate primarily from my left ovary. Of course, she tried to get me to commit to a stop smoking date and method to stop but.. sigh...I'll get there. Lastly, she mentioned that my weight could play a factor in my chances of conceiving. She encouraged me to focus on my eating habits right now instead of the actual conception of our cute litte baby boy (wink, wink). Ugh! This getting pregnant stuff is hard!

Speaking of eating, Kelley and I eat a good 'ol very fattening southern breakfast each weekend.. bacon, eggs, toast...When I'm cooking, this is what I typically see...
That's my stove on the right. And they are just certain that I have a package of bacon reserved for them.



And, how cute are these faces? Look at that handsome "kid" in the middle!

Girl Appointment

Tomorrow, I have my "girl appointment" at the birthing center. I have never..let me repeat NEVER.. been excited about the womanly annual exam before. But, this time, I am actually having my appointment with my midwife... EEEKKK... yes! My midwife! And, I am incredibly excited! I feel like it's the beginning of a beautiful journey.

I do admit that I have a little devil on my shoulder who keeps telling me that I might not get pregnant. But, I have an even bigger feeling in my soul that tells me I will and it will be beautiful.

I can't explain how incredible it is to actually be able to blog about this. I have truly wanted another child for many years. I never wanted my son to grow up as an only child. But, I just never had the right partner in my life. I didn't want any more children from his father because I just knew we weren't going to make it for the long haul. And...well.. I'll spare you the rest of my crazy man journey. But, now, I have THAT man in my life. The one that I want to pro-create with..the one who I know will be an incredible father. I am so thankful to have this opportunity, again.

I daydream about our baby. I daydream about raising our child. Emotions fill my soul and I pray.. Oh Lord how I pray that God will truly grant me this gift!

The Cat's Out of the Bag

Or, someday soon, the bun will be in the oven???

At 42, my husband of 34 and I have decided to have a BABY!!! I am so excited and pretty darn obsessed about the whole idea. We have finally told almost everyone in the family and no longer have to keep it under the table. No..I'm not pregnant yet but hope to be any month now. If we could just get this whole ovulation thing down.

Anyway, just wanted to shout to the world..... WE ARE TRYING! WE ARE TRYING! Can't wait for the post to annouce the conception.

Shorty Got Low, Low, Low....

I was just telling my mom the other day that I think we aren't or weren't really in a recession. I honestly think the media has created this so-called "Recession". I didn't really feel impacted by it until recently. Kelley and I have more credit cards than we need. Several have balances and all were no where near the credit limits.

Over the last 4 months, every single one of our credit card companies has lowered our credit limit to just above our balance amount!!! This really ticks me off! Not because I want to have a bunch of credit cards with high limits but because it completely messes with my credit score and then causes us to be at a higher risk of going over our limit. Seriously, one company lowered are limit so close to our balance that it will only take one finance charge to tip the scale...then they have the right to increase our interest rate. Such a market these companies have!!!!

I say DOWN WITH CREDIT CARDS!!!!! Can't wait to finish paying these suckers off!

A Pocket Full-O Change

My niece, Kayla, gave me this bank a couple of years ago. Or, she may have given it to Mema and then Mema passed it on to me..who knows? Anyway, I have the bank.

I had saved some change in it and then dumped it for some unknown event or occasion. Last year, Kelley and I began putting our pocket change in it. Our intention was to fill it to the rim, see how much we had, and then decide what to do with the money.

We recently decided to take advantage of a trip to China next March that my company is offering at a discount. Well, on my bus ride home yesterday, I had this bright idea. Instead of letting the change sit in the bottle earning no interest, why not put the money in savings and let it at least earn a few dollars in interest. I know, I know.. with today's interest rates, we're really not missing much. Either way, I was interested to see how much we had saved.

As soon as I got home, I promptly dumped the bottle to retrieve the dollar bills that had accrued. (Yep.. we threw in a few dollar bills here and there.) I was so excited to see that we had saved $39.00 in bills. Wow! That's $3 a month! So, then, Kelley and I head off to the nearest Kroger to find one of those coin machine thingies.

I am excited to announce that we actually had $225 in coins in the bottle!!! And it wasn't even half full!!! We are so excited that we have made an even bigger committment to save our change. Who knows? Maybe next year we'll double our money.